About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
