ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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