we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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