I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
