that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
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