im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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