i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
