Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
