Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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