You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
