Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
She announced her abortion via fbk
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
