dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize