this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
We need to get me chipped asap
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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