Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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