I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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