i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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