Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
