What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
