Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Too much gin, very little bucket
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
