Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
