I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
