it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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