i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
