I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
she peed on how many people?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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