My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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