i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
