hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
