pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
