a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
