Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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