My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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