what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
