Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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