So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
