you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
