I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
