Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
