he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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