Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
no you cant smoke seaweed
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Randomize
