Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
