Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
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