Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
