it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Your penis caused this!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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