I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
