im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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