Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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