Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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