I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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