Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just forgot I was standing up.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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