the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
