I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
