Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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