He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
