did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
