I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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